The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

RATING: 1.5/5
So, since I tweeted the movie… I will post all my tweets as my review cause you will know what I thought of the movie then
Watching New Moon… This is horrible. I can not believe I am watching this. Oh, Dakota Fanning for being a new obsession
oh how he sparkles… I want some to sparkle for me… oh wait… Here’s some pixie dust
Oh the slow motion strut. Edward sooooooo sucks. Oh wait. He is a vampire
OMG these vampires are sooooo stupid. Why would anyone like Twilight. UGH
Kristen Stewart is soooo desperate. Oh dont leave… I am nothing without you. *tear* That is right… you are NOTHING!!!!
October, november, december… three months of sitting in a window. Oh really? The night terrors because the vampire left. REALLY? PLEASE!!!
Now Edward is a ghostly spirit… Can this movie get any dumber?
Now that was good. When Bella falls off the motorcycle. HAHAHHA I loved it
First shirtless Jacob scene… Did nothing for me.
Next scene… No injury on bella’s head. Wow. Instaheal because she’s Bella.
Short haired shirtless jacob… wet… bella… wet… “It’s not you, it’s me.” Oh, just fuck her and get it over with.
Without Jake I can’t stand it… OH the tragedy. And Edward sparkling in the field of flowers. He is such a fairy.
An hour in and still no dakota fanning. COME ON!!!!
Oh the puppies are here. Now the fun begins.
Dude… Bella ain’t all that. What do they see in her?
Puppy fight over a girl… hehehee
Yaaay and now she is sinking to the bottom… Die biotch die.
Snuggle time… Jacob saved me, now I must sleep with him and make cute little puppies of my own
oh bestiality at its finest… Bella and Jacob. Oh, puppy love!
Jacob/Taylor has a huge nose… the better to smell you with….
Now off to Brazil? Bella is such a jetsetter. Don’t forget food and water for the pup you leave behind.
Edward so not good looking… ugh
Please put your white back on oh pale one….
Oh its about time my little dakota fanning. Turn me little one, please!!!!
God this movie is sooooo long. I can see 1.5hrs I could have cut off of this movie
*gasp* no…not marriage!!!! Oh the end of my 2hrs of pain… And that was my #twilight tweets for the day.

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